Rewind
If today were your last day, could you say you lived a life without regret?
Meaning
"Rewind" is written as the moment of death. People often say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes as you pass through a tunnel of light. Rewind is the voice guiding that review of life, stopping at four ages and letting the person relive how each one felt:
at nine, free and full of potential, certain that nothing can stop them;
at fifteen, alive with first love, every feeling intense and consuming;
at thirty-four, lost and worn down, life no longer their own and no room left to dream;
and at a hundred and eighteen, lying in bed, saying goodbye, and reflecting on their life.
As life flashes by, the dying person realizes that nothing was ever impossible, repeating the very words sung at age nine. What changed over a lifetime wasn't their potential, but their willingness to act on it.
The recurring chorus presses the questions underlining the whole journey: “Do you regret it all?” The closing refrain, "Search through your soul. Did it all turn out the way you wanted?", is sung as if by a higher force escorting the person across the threshold, asking one final question before the end.
Inspiration
Years ago, I watched an interview where elderly people in nursing homes were asked if they had any regrets. The most common answer wasn't about something they'd done, but about something they never did: never finding the courage to tell someone they loved them, never leaving a job they hated to do what they actually wanted, never making an effort to travel and see more of the world, until it was too late.
We spend a lot of life coasting, going along with whatever circumstances or other people hand us instead of making the decisions that are ours to make. Most of the time, the reason is fear. Fear of failing ourselves and others, fear of being judged or mocked. But as we get older, we often find that the things we feared weren't that important after all. What's left is regret that we didn't act sooner, now that old age, lost mobility, or illness have made those things harder or impossible to reach. I wrote "Rewind" as a reminder to find courage to face those fears and take action while there is still time to do something about it.
I started writing this song in 2012, when I was 22, and finished it ten years later in 2022, at 32, changing the verses as I got older. The song aged along with me, which felt fitting for a piece about moving through the stages of a life.
"Rewind" was also inspired by one of my favorite films, Mr. Nobody. It follows the different possible versions of one person's life at four different ages. At each age the character is at a crossroad and has to make a choice that completely changes what comes next, and the film plays out all the lives that branch off from those choices.
Music
"Rewind" is built entirely on organic instruments: layered, soulful vocals, a string ensemble, piano, and classical guitar that evoke a sense of longing and nostalgia. There are no electronic instruments at all, which is rare for me. It was a deliberate choice, as the imperfect, organic sound embodies how life flows by much better.
The song shifts constantly between 5/4, 6/4, and 3/4 time signatures. The changing meter simulates time itself rewinding, fast forwarding, and slowing down as the song jumps between stages of life.
The chorus slows to 3/4 over a repeated low bass note on the guitar that tolls like the bell of a clock tower marking the hour.
In the closing refrain, "Search through your soul. Did it all turn out the way you wanted?", three time signatures (5/4, 6/4, and 4/4) are layered, with different instruments following different ones, so that time stops feeling linear and dissolves into the last moment of a life floating away.
Lyrics
Rewind rewind
You are nine
Running fast like the wind
Dreaming of the stars
Nothing can stop you
The world is in your hands
Rewind rewind
You are fifteen
Your lips meet hers for the first time
Butterflies and lightning storms
Intensely felt and no one else matters
Nothing can stop you
True love is in your arms
Paths crossed
Decisions made
Do you move on? Do you move on?
Time passed
Memories fade
Do you regret? Do you regret it all?
Rewind rewind
You are thirty-four
Life is not your own
Direction unknown
Nothing has meaning
No time for dreaming
Rewind rewind
You’re a hundred and eighteen
In the bed you lie
There you say goodbye
Life’s flashing before your eyes
Oh how time flies
There you realize
Nothing was impossible
The world was in your hands
Paths crossed
Decisions made
Do you move on? Do you move on?
Time passed
Memories fade
Do you regret? Do you regret it all?
Search through your soul
Did it all turn out the way you wanted?
Search through your soul
Did it all turn out the way you wanted?
Credits
Music
Performer, Composer, & Producer: Tamlin.
Mixing & Mastering Engineer: Mix & Master Engineer: Be Hussey
Session Musicians:
Cello: Liz Hanks
Guitar: Vladimir Gapontsev
Violin: Natalie Purton
Double Bass: Phil Donnelly
