Wandering Whale
What is home? Can we feel at home and belong in our bodies?
Listen to Wandering Whale on your favorite music app.
Meaning
"Wandering Whale" explores the journey from insecurity and judgment to unconditional acceptance of our bodies. It asks the listeners what it truly means to feel at home within ourselves.
The whale metaphor came from reflecting on whether whales feel lonely as they roam endlessly through vast oceans, without a fixed external home. Perhaps they don't feel lonely at all, and instead, inherently feel a sense of belonging in their bodies. This inspired me to ask: Why do we assume belonging must come externally, rather than from within?
Instead of viewing our bodies as flawed, broken, or separate from our thinking selves, the song invites us to recognize them as lifelong companions and the medium through which we experience all aspects of life. It shifts the narrative from criticism and rejection to empathy and acceptance. When did we first start treating our bodies as strangers, and how would our lives change if we saw them as our true home? I hope this song encourages us to appreciate our bodies as unique, deserving compassion and care, offering us the rare opportunity to fully experience life before we eventually return to stardust.
Inspiration
I was inspired by two songs when creating "Wandering Whale."
The first was "I don't feel safe in my body" by Mikayla Geier, a former professional ballerina. She spoke openly about feeling broken and alienated from her body, and struggling with eating disorders due to the intense pressures of ballet training. Listening to her experience moved me profoundly, and I felt sadness for her and the countless others, especially young women, who relate to that feeling. I wanted to write a reply - something that offers a gentler, more hopeful perspective: that our bodies are not enemies or obstacles, but our true homes.
The second influence was "On and Ever Onward" by the Dirty Projectors and Björk. They sang from the perspective of orcas, expressing the idea that their home (i.e. water) is all around them. That made me question whether whales truly see water as their home, when humans don’t see air as our home. If it’s not water or an external location, perhaps it’s their own body that gives the whale a sense of home and belonging.
What about us humans? We always look for home externally, whether a house, a hometown, a community, or a specific person. But can we feel at home without relying on an external source? Can we see our bodies as our true home instead? Instead of criticizing or separating from them, can we saw them as our lifelong companions?
I’ve personally struggled with feeling dissociated from my body, believing that only my mind was "me." I’ve also experienced insecurity about my appearance, especially when I used to act and faced constant judgment during auditions, which took a toll on my self-esteem. Now, as I experience visible aging, like fine lines and grey hairs, I find myself facing a new layer of that struggle. So, I wrote this song as a message to both myself and others: to care for our bodies not because they are perfect but because they are us, and they are our home.
Behind the Music Video
For "Wandering Whale” music video, my goal was to visually capture the journey from self-judgment to genuine acceptance of one's own body.
One central theme I wanted to highlight was vulnerability. At the start, the models appear emotionally raw and uncertain, surrounded by fragmented mirror shards reflecting their inner self-criticism. These mirror shards symbolize how distorted our self-perception can become when viewed through the lens of societal beauty standard.
Each model carried a unique story of resilience and beauty. Melissa, a postpartum mother with stretch marks and a C-section scar, symbolized the powerful transformation of motherhood. Ruby, whose visible self-harm scars spoke of emotional healing, represented overcoming stigma and finding strength through vulnerability. Paul, a man in his seventies, embodied the grace and dignity of aging through his wrinkles and sun-spotted skin. Fai, born without arms, illustrated remarkable adaptability and strength, challenging perceptions of disability. Lastly, Aui, a burn survivor with prominent scars, stood for resilience and the profound journey toward self-acceptance after trauma.
I gently applied paint along the natural lines of their bodies, scars, wrinkles, and veins, relating the body with beauty and art. The models' guardedness gradually softened into curiosity and openness, mirroring my own path toward healing and self-acceptance.
The final scenes of joyful movement and radiant energy were particularly meaningful to me. They felt like an authentic celebration, a shared acknowledgement that our bodies have always been home, even if we've sometimes felt distant or critical. Creating this video reaffirmed that acceptance isn't about perfection. It's about gently finding our way back to ourselves, over and over again.
Lyrics
I wonder if a wandering whale feels lonely
Drifting through the silent sea, never belonging
If air isn’t my home, what’s water to her?
Are we both lost, not sure where we were?
But maybe lone whales never yearn for a home
Gliding through ocean waves in their splendid form
Their body a guide, a shelter through storm
What else would it be, if not where they belong?
Isn’t my body my home?
My true home
Like the lone wandering whales
Always belong wherever they roam
When did I start treating you like a stranger?
Blaming you over again when I see the mirror
From my first 'til my last breath
Through joy and regret
Everything I’ve felt, I felt through this skin
Isn’t my body my home?
My true home
Like the lone wandering whales
Always belong wherever they roam
We are stardust
We are stardust
We are stardust
We are stardust
Credits
Music
Artist, Composer: Tamlin.
Producers: Tamlin., Benjamin Jay Thomas
Mix & Master Engineer: Be Hussey
Music Video Crew
Director, Producer, Set Designer: Tamlin.
Director of Photography: Kuba Leszko
Gaffer: Surachet Thongme
Lighting Crew: Tanapol Selarax, Detcharun Selarax
Set Crew: Sorrawan Boonyapuggana, Suphacha Maneeon
Costume: Ornjai Rochanasmita
Production Coordinator: Thunyaporn Rakthao
Editor & Colorist: Chen Li
Music Video Cast
Painter: Tamlin.
Model: Melissa Deniz Close
Model: Ponphet Suihawong
Model: Paul Walker
Model: Ruby Noelle
Model: Buntida Chinnawong
